Real Marriage Secrets – The Communication Challenge
Posted: Thursday, October 04, 2007
by W.M. Thompson
A real marriage secret that has been proven over and over again is the fact that communication helps hold a marriage together. In fact, when you look at divorces that happen today in America, a significant number of them could have been prevented if they would have just used this communication tool.
A bonus real marriage secret is that communication is not a bad word. A lot of men think communication is an idea from women who just want to talk all the time. That can not be further from the truth. And men can actually use communication in their marriage to their benefit!
Real Marriage Secret 1: Receive Communication
Sit back and take in the communication. In other words, listen. This is what guys are great at. But heres a modification to the average listening man. Listen with your eyes. If you attentively listen to your bride, you will be a hero to her. You wont even have to say a word most of the time. The fact that she KNOWS youre paying attention to her will make her feel like a million dollars. That is what you want when youre feeling frisky later! So listen, men. It works!
Real Marriage Secret 2: Respect Communication
Dont put down your wife when you or she comes in from a long days work and all you hear is Yap ! Yap ! Yap ! Yap ! from her about her day. Know and understand this. In general men unwind from their day with silence and reflection. Women unwind from their day by talking about it and talking about it in detail! Sometimes overwhelming and excruciating detail. So women, tone it down a little with how long you unwind. And men, listen a little to them while they unwind. Refer to #1.
Real Marriage Secret 3: Respond To Communication
Always be attentive. Always show youre listening. Always respond in a way that you know your spouse knows you are not in another world. Heres how to do that. . . even if the subject isnt important to you. Nod in affirmation that you hear what he/she is saying. Repeat back to your spouse, in your own words, what you heard in conversation just so they can know youre understanding what is being said. (This also keeps you awake if the subject matter is extremely dull.) When the conversation seems to be finishing up, try and sum up with the highlights of what your spouse was just talking about. Important: Offer as much support as humanly possible for your spouse in whatever he/she needs support in regarding the conversation.
Real Success Secret 4: Reward Communication
When this communication challenge has been going on for a few weeks, and youve noticed how it has improved your relationship with your spouse, do something totally unpredictable for him or her. If youre happy with the results this communication has given your marriage, and youre the husband, go buy a little something for your wife. It may be flowers. It may be a little tennis bracelet. Hey! It may even be a new car! (Big time brownie points!) Or if youre the wife and youre happy with the results this communications challenge has made in your marriage, think of something your husband would love to have. It could be from affection or some toys he may like to have. Maybe he would like a night with just his friends watching the game. You could set all that up and fix all the snacks. This would also allow you some time with the girls. Or maybe he would like some new paintball gear. Hint: If your man is into hunting, fishing, paintball, etc. The best way to buy something for him is to buy him a gift card to a place that sells those type of items. Chances are he likes specific types of gear that only he knows what to look for. You cant go wrong with the gift card.
During all this time of the communication challenge, dont forget the most important thing you want your spouse to hear. They need to know three words, I love you.
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W.M. Thompson authors of "Real Marriage Secrets...Revealed" - a book that shows how married couples can make their marriage work, even if they feel there's no way to continue in the marriage. Marriage problems plague this nation and the first step to the answer is http://www.realmarriagesecrets.com
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